Is Play Therapy Just Playing?- Deeper Look at Play Therapy
So you’re a parent who is reaching out for support for your child. You may be familiar with therapy for yourself which typically is very talk heavy. You sit down, you talk through something, develop strategies, build insight. This form of therapy works well for adults because talking, thinking, words is the primary way that a fully developed brain makes sense of the world. For children, the natural language is play.
Therapy for children works a bit differently because verbal reasoning skills have not developed yet. The frontal lobe, which is where cognitive functions take place and is mainly responsible for decision making, abstract thinking, and reasoning does not fully develop until around the age of 26. Have you ever tried to reason with your child about why they can’t have ice cream for breakfast? Or why sometimes a friend may not want to play with them? While it may be possible it is often not without challenges and simply not the primary way that children make sense of their world.
Play therapy is not simply just playing. While there are many forms of play therapy, the focus of my framework is Child Centered Play Therapy or CCPT. However, in any forms of play therapy, the therapist plays an important role in attuning to the child, helping to show up to their inner world, and allowing for a safe adult-child relationship for children to process and explore safely. With the safety and attunement, a child may begin to make sense of themes (I’ll touch more on this later) or work through their experiences. Because play is their natural language, this way of processing comes a lot easier and allows for deeper understanding and therefore growth.
What Play Therapy Looks Like
If your child is about to begin play therapy, you may be unsure what this actually looks like. Oftentimes, parents will be involved to gather background information, learn more about any behaviors or concerns, and answer any questions you may have. In CCPT, children enter the playroom and are told “in here you can do or say almost anything that you want to do or say”. This introduction is important because it lets children know they are allowed to lead but that this is not without limits.
In a typical session, children are allowed to lead and utilize any of the carefully selected toys to process. The therapist uses skills such as tracking or reporting on what the child is doing, reflecting feelings or naming emotions to help build emotional vocabulary and show attunement, and returning responsibility or allowing the child to come up with their own solutions and work through challenges on their own. Limit setting is also important with limits offering a safe boundary for exploration and utilized to ensure safety within the play room.
Throughout the process, parents will be involved to ensure continuity across the different settings. The therapist may offer education and guidance to support parents in areas such as discipline, co-regulation, and household management. Another role of the therapist is to conceptualize and interpret play themes. Here are some common ones seen in play therapy:
Good vs bad: being a child often feels powerless and out of control so children often play to understand dynamics related to good vs bad. This may look like superheroes, bad guys, some aggression.
Control/ Authority: going off of the above, children often feel powerless so they may play through what being in control looks like by bossing around the therapist or making up lots of rules.
Mastery/ Competence: childhood is a time of learning and growth and so they can utilize play to build self-confidence, problem solving, and distress tolerance skills.
Caretaking/ Nurturing: children are often on the receiving end of nurturing and often play out what it looks like to be on the other side. This helps them to make sense of their experiences.
This is nowhere near a complete list of themes but starts to give you an idea of the real work that is being done by children. Even if on the outside it looks like just play, they are working hard to make sense of their world and build skills- no lecturing needed!
Is Play Therapy Right For My Child?
Play based therapy is going to be right for most children but we will always consider factors such as age, presentation, developmental milestones, and more. Talk with your therapist to learn more about how they conceptualize the work and include parents to determine if it is a good fit. Because play therapy is flexible and creative it can typically be adapted to each child’s needs and allow for a space to process, learn, and grow.
If you are interested in learning more, check out these additional resources:
Association for Play Therapy: For resources and more information on play therapy.
Play Therapy Parenting Podcast: Hosted by a play therapist and offers support for parents
Or reach out for an appointment here or at hello@bloomandbalancetherapy.com with any questions!
-Rebecca Powers, LCSW
